Deja Voo : Is it ever a good idea to date your ex?

October 19, 2006

Love, the second time around
By Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro

Who’s ready for a replay?
Two sorts of duos are most likely to reconvene successfully. 

  • First, there are those relationships that ended amicably, usually due to such things as youthful inexperience, job relocation, or bad timing. During the intervening months or years, both parties have moved on, yet remain in touch, so the door to a future together is definitely ajar.
  • The second type is the twosome that lost touch long ago, but after a serendipitous meeting or Google-inspired rendezvous, the players soon discover that an unquenchable flame has been re-lit. With schedules and hearts open wide, a love blossoms with new and improved vigor as if hit by a fertilizer truck.

In either case, a replay works best when it’s a natural process involving two kindred souls with unfinished business, rather than one lonely whiner breaking down the other’s door during a desperate hour of bachelorhood. If one person is pushing for the reunion and the other is thinking, “Well, my dance card is empty…” this is not a recipe for success.

Rosé-colored glasses
It sounds nice, reuniting over Reunite on ice, but is it a good idea? Some critics groan, “If it was bad enough to fail once, why bother again?” Bear in mind, romance is influenced by external forces. Maybe it wasn’t all your fault—or your sweetie’s. Here are some issues that may have caused a rift in the past—but can be remedied so love can thrive the second time around:

  • Clock management. Last time around, were you three months into bankruptcy while she was three days removed from a beloved pet’s death? Did a lurking ex or rebound factor throw a wrench in the works? With no recent crashes or other baggage in the way, this time you may well be ready to run full throttle under green instead of limping by under a caution flag.
  • Well-seasoned. Was the first time a case of “too much, too soon?” Young lovers just out of grad school don’t always recognize a soul mate, but now that you’ve sprouted the romantic wisdom that a few gray hairs bring, couplehood just might work. This holds doubly true for newfound sexual confidence and bedroom mastery, particularly if shortcomings in the boudoir doomed chemistry before.
  • Facelift (figuratively speaking). A Queer Eye-esque makeover can help rekindle a romance. Huge improvements in appearance, style, and habits can be head-turning (“Hmmm…what happened to the chain-smoking, portly laze-about I used to date?”). An investment in manners, Italian shoes, and a haircut might jumpstart Round 2 of a relationship and make you more bankable in the long run.
  • Soul shift. Finished with their bad-boy/naughty-girl phases and week-by-week personal growth adjustments, maybe both parties are finally ready for something substantial. Perhaps a few extra years on the single scene has induced an embrace of matrimonial thoughts and opened your heart to the love that was waiting there all along.

Upping the ante
Getting back together and revisiting the same middling romance from before is pointless. When starting a second time, prepare for a turbo boost of intimacy and consciously commit to besting previous efforts. Discuss this with the renewed object of your affections: “What happened to us? And why are things so much better now?” is a fair starting place for such talks. Besides, the most effective way to quiet any naysaying eyewitnesses to the first break-up is to lift this love affair to new heights. After jumping back between the sheets, address the hang-ups that tainted the first time while rebuilding the relationship on a plateau of earnestness, refashioned and recharged for the second haul.

Will it last this time?
After the initial honeymoon-like opening, perform a review 90-120 days later to see if prior problems are truly history. Are the old habits that doomed the first relationship beginning to resurface? Is his booming temper back in force? Is her anal-retentive sock-drawer fetish still as irksome as her whiskey breath? Has the constant arguing and nitpicking started anew? Unless a personality overhaul and new-found maturity occurred in the interim, behaviors that were anathema before won’t magically improve just because it’s a new fiscal year. If it’s starting to look like a bad rerun… don’t hide from that truth. Though it would have made a great story to tell at cocktail parties, if it’s not working, own up to it and move on. On the positive side, if love and stability bloom, smile in the fact that those old maxims can indeed ring true… sometimes, good things come to those who wait.


Nice Guy vs. Jerk

October 14, 2006

Nice Guy vs. Jerk

You probably have heard other people say the jerk always gets the girl. You also know some girls that always date jerks. The nice guy is perceived as romantic, tender, and sensitive. The jerk is perceived as impolite, rude, and insensitive, yet the jerk gets the girl that the nice guy wanted.Woman do not really prefer mean guys to nice guys. Woman like other qualities in jerks. Think about it jerks are always strong, flashy, driven, and the most important thing is they have huge self confidence. Women love self confidence so of course they would love the jerks. The nice guys always doubt themselves while the jerks are getting the women. Jerks show their sexual side and don’t accept just being friend. If a woman told a jerk they just wanted be friends then the jerk would say no. The nice guy is glad to be friends but that’s as far as he will ever get. The nice guy will settle for friends while the jerk will move on and search for something better.

My advice is don’t be a jerk but use some of their qualities. Make sure you are self confident and don’t be afraid to show a woman your sexual side. Also don’t be afraid to let a woman know you want to be more than friends. How many girl friends do you need that are not really “girlfriends”, not many? Tell women what you want and don’t accept anything less. Be yourself and be strong.

Google buys YouTube for $1.65 billion

October 9, 2006

Internet search leader Google is snapping up YouTube for $1.65 billion, brushing aside copyright concerns to seize a starring role in the online video revolution.

The all-stock deal announced Monday unites one of the Internet’s marquee companies with one of its rapidly rising stars. It came just a few hours after YouTube unveiled three separate agreements with media companies to counter the threat of copyright-infringement lawsuits.

The price makes YouTube Inc., a still-unprofitable startup, by far the most expensive purchase made by Google during its eight-year history. Last year, Google spent $130.5 million buying a total of 15 small companies.

Ready for NBA Opening Night October 31st

October 9, 2006

Ready for NBA Opening Night October 31st
-by Jorge Alarcon Swaby

That’s right NBA fans, the NBA season is ready to get going again on October 31st with Chicago @ Miami and then Phoenix vs L.A. Lakers, both games are going to be very exciting (hey well get to see Kobe wearing his new #24 jersey) . Alot of team have made changes to their squads, alot of trades have been made, but the most exciting one and the one destined to cause the biggest impact is “Ben Wallace being traded to the Chicago Bulls, last year in the playoff the young bulls proved that they were a force to be reckon with, and now with the addition of Wallace they sure are.  I gotta say that one of the reason we are all hoping for the start of the new season,  is the great playoffs we were all part of last year, it was the best playoffs i have been a part of as a fan since 1995, all the games were down to the wire, we Had a record for most overtime games in playoff history, nothing more exciting than that in sports, and the the finals were great to, every game went down to the final seconds with both team being able to win, but the Heat ended up winning in 6 games. But is a new season and new changes in every team, so we definitely hope that the hype of this new season is worth watching. (at least for me it always is).My simple predictions for the news season are;
The Chicago bulls are going to be a force to be reckon with in the East, The Detroit Pistons will be atop contender as always (even without Wallace), Of course the defending champs Miami Heat will probably be in the Semi-finals again or in the Finals (I dont think  they will win it again), The west pretty much is going to be settled between the San Antonio Spurs, Phoenix Suns and the Mavericks.

But if i gotta make a big prediction before the season starts i would say the Dallas Mavericks will be 2006-2007 NBA Champions. (They should have won last year aswell, if it wasent for them refs, let not say anymore)-Jorge Alarcon Swaby

Nacer en Cuba – Anonymous (What is like to live in cuba)

October 8, 2006

Nacer en Cuba – Anonymous

An anonymous author in Cuba describes very poignantly what’s like to be Cuban in Cuba.

“I was born in Cuba….
I was born in Cuba where a foreigner has more rights than me…
I am free; but I can’t speak my mind or live my own dreams…
I live in a democratic society where there is only one party, one point of view, and only one ruler…..
I am free to vote in the elections where there is only one candidate…
My education is free; but I must give up my time in the school year to work at our labor camps so I will not be excluded and expelled from our system of free education….
My education is free, yet, I am not free to choose my education…….
Due to the official blockade imposed by the USA, we suffer a lack of basic needs; but somehow, there is plenty of everything and no embargo for our tourists….
Mi mother said in years past, with other regimes, there was hunger here, people ate corn meal all the time….what in the world is corn meal????
My medical care is free, but there is no medication in our local hospital, our doctors are now taxi cab drivers to make ends meet, our nurses are prostitutes working the streets all night, therefore, they need their rest and sleep during the day….
I own a television set, where I am only allowed to watch two channels, both with the same people in it….
I own a fan, but there is no electricity in our homes….
I like to bathe; somehow we haven’t had running water for the past three years….
When I happen to have a tooth brush, I have no tooth paste and vice-versa….
I have a pencil, and no paper….
When I have both pencil and paper, I am reminded that here, I am not free to write down my thoughts….
Someone said You only live once…..I can tell you that whoever said such words is not living in Cuba….
Here in Cuba, we are not living life….we are just observing it…..
Freedom takes time; but it will get here in time……”